A Minor Key
by eris348
Summary: Edward's life was governed by music. Until his music was governed by life.
1. Chapter 1

Edward had studied music, had loved music, for over a century.

His music collection was arranged organically, the filing system stored in his soul. He had CDs, mixed with records, mixed with cassettes, and none in alphabetical order. In the many moves between towns that the Cullens had undergone, his first priority had always been to sort his music out. The feel of the paper, the cardboard, the vinyl, the plastic, beneath his fingers, knowing that in his hands he held the rawest of human emotions, was intoxicating for him, and always settled him into the new place, made it feel like home. As much as a man, a monster, without a soul, without a purpose, could feel at home.

His music collection was arranged according to mood. He had music he listened to when content, music he listened to when pensive. He had little music to listen to when he was happy, as that emotion rarely cropped up in his existence.

Then he met Bella.

Now, his music was not arranged by his mood. It was arranged by Bella. There was music he listened to when he thought about her hair, music he listened to when he thought about her lips, her blush, the fine hairs on her arms. His music collection was arranged in accordance with parts of Bella. He felt more content with this arrangement, even beginning to approach the fabled pinnacle of happiness.

The day came that he destroyed this burgeoning happiness. After he left her, alone and weeping in the woods, music held no joy for him. He tried rearranging his collection once his family had left Forks. His hands automatically placed the music in the Bella arrangement. His brain made his hands pull the media back out again. He found he could not listen to anything. Everything reminded him of her, of what he had sacrificed to keep her safe.

He tried sitting at his piano, composing new melodies. At first, every time he began to play, he was aware of Esme's presence; hovering outside the door, hoping that this composition would magically begin to heal him, without any real faith that it would succeed. He only ever played in a minor key. His pieces were haunting and filled with anguish. He could hear the pain in Esme's mind every time he tried to compose, to be met with the agony-filled minor key, until she eventually stopped listening, unable to bear the torment in every note.

The time came that he could not bear the emptiness inside any longer. He waited until his family went to play baseball; they had stopped asking him if he wanted to come. Once he was sure they had left, he took every piece of music he owned; CD, cassette, record, compositions, sheet music, and he burned it.

When Jasper arrived, sent by Alice, in time to see Edward carrying his piano to the fire, he couldn't move closer. The waves of pain and loss echoing from Edward forced Jasper to his knees, gasping for the air he had not needed in decades.

Once the Cullen family had watched the most prized possessions of their youngest son wither into ash, they watched him leave.

Alice could not see where he had gone; he refused to make a decision. He composed music in his head, always in a minor key, every composition bidding farewell to a mane of dark hair, a pair of brown eyes, a vivid blush, and the unfulfilled hope of a life full of love.


	2. Chapter 2

**It is an accepted fact in music that a melody played in a minor key is haunting, anguished, filled with loss and sorrow. A major key is happier, more hopeful. It conjures up the idea that salvation lies around the corner, if one could only summon up the energy to keep going.**

**A decade ago, Edward's life had been played in a minor key. He still remembered that bleak day of destroying his music; his music which for a century and more had been the most important thing in his life, his tenuous grasp on humanity. **

**Jasper remembered as well. No other member of the family had experienced the depths to which Edward had plummeted; Alice had only seen the decisions that had been made, the other Cullens were saved from the anguish by their merciful lack of 'gifts'. But Jasper remembered. Jasper remembered only too clearly the anguish and pain; words used too lightly in everyday life, for the feeling when a football team lost, or when a paper cut was inflicted. Jasper had experienced **_**true **_**anguish, **_**true **_**pain, and the echoes still reverberated through him when he looked at Edward. **

**Whilst Alice did not experience the emotions, she was the only Cullen to know the plan. She was the only one who knew how close they had come to losing their introspective brother, the best of them all as far as she was concerned. Edward had planned, that day long ago, to join his music on the fire. He had intended for the music sheets he had left on the table with 'For Love' written at the top to be his last composition. His fire was not just intended for his music, it was intended to be his pyre. The only thing which had saved him had been Jasper's entrance; Edward had not wanted the memory of his burning to be inflicted on his family. Alice had a sneaking suspicion that he had also not wanted to run the risk of being 'saved' either, but she had not voiced this, even to Edward himself.**

**He knew that she knew. He knew that Jasper arriving had not been a happy coincidence. Every so often, he would present her with something; a gift card for her favourite shop, or a new car. He would say nothing, just hand over the envelope or the package, and walk away. Alice knew that Bella was confused about this, as no one had ever told Bella of that day, knowing she would not cope with the guilt. Edward mostly made his gestures out of Bella's sight, but every so often she would catch a glimpse, and her perfect eyebrows would furrow slightly.**

**One day she arrived in Alice's bedroom. She shut the door and she told Alice she was grateful. She didn't know what for, but she sensed Alice had stopped Edward from making a mistake. Alice understood that Edward must not know of this conversation. She was careful not to think of it around him; if he knew Bella even suspected something might have happened in their separation then he would have been distraught. But that was those two. Their entire existences were intrinsicately bound in the other's safety and happiness.**

**Edward no longer plays in a minor key. He sits, relaxed, at the piano, with Bella humming softly along to what he is playing. **

**Their love song was just beginning, but would forever be played in a major key.**


End file.
